Right now I need more patience then I think I can muster up. I have read and read on many blogs that when you are beginning a new DD or D/s relationship that the couple needs to have patience with each other. While I one hundred percent agree with this, firmly. I have to say that patience is probably a top priority in starting and maintaining a DD or D/s relationship. I know your probably thinking to yourself that communication or something of the like is the most important key. For me, If I don't have patience my communication is going down hill very fast and then I find myself very angry and not listening and shutting down. Something that should really never have to happen. MD and I struggle with patience. What a pain when a married couple both are struggling with the same personal problem, especially when the personal problem is patience.
You noticed that my post is called Lack of Time=patience MUST be a virtue. I know, what the heck is she talking about. At the moment MD and I have a definite lack of time between us and it is testing my patience, it is testing MDs patience too. We are still forming rules and boundaries and getting settled into a DD relationship which doesn't happen over night. It doesn't take much for me to get off tract if my routine is interrupted. Not seeing MD has been HARD. It throws me off tract. It's a little hard to stay in the correct mindset. Why do Subs and TiH have a hard time with this? Why do some Doms or HoH have a hard time with consistency when they are so busy? I would really like to hear for a Dominant or HoH answer this question and educate me. As for Submissive I follow the blog A Submissive Guide. (Which I recommend to all submissive to follow) The title was preparing for time when your dominant is away. http://www.submissiveguide.com/2014/05/preparing-for-time-when-your-dominant-is-away/ Even though MD isn't away from the home our time is very limited still and this is where patience MUST be a virtue. Read the article if you have time. LunaKM gives some good advice.
Time and patience has been a trial for both of us and one that we have been working on together. It does not come easily for either of us. At all. It seem when it comes to family and kids we do great with patience, but when it comes to lack of time and seeing each other our patience flys out the window and we start to play the immature blame game. Sometimes it feels like one of us is all alone in trying to be patient. Like we re doing it all by our self and they other isn't trying at all. At times I feel I am the one working on patience and my sweet MD I know feels like he is the one holding things together with his patience. It's bad when we both are not being patient at the same time. Talk about passive aggressive non verbal ques darting back and forth to each other. You don't want to be at that moment in the line of fire.
As MDs time has been focused on work during a huge growing period for his company he has been pretty occupied on other things then our DD relationship. He hasn't forgotten about it but he has been pretty relaxed in it. But every time MD has asked me to be patient with him, to trust him that everything will work out he always pulls through. And that is what he has asked me to do. I hate it when he does this because I know he is right. So right now in our marriage time is a challenge. We both need to learn Lack of Time=Patience MUST be a virtue.
I always remind myself who I am and who MD is. I love my sweet master more then anything. Showing patience (which I don't always do) is a way I show love to MD AND my family as well. Being impatient pushes MD away and as a submissive or TiH we don't want to disappoint our Dominant or HoH. And I feel I have many times. So next time I want to get all upset when MD is coming home late for a job that he is working for me. I need to step back and remember that me being patience is showing love to my wonderful husband.
Right now during one of our many trials that MD and I have had to over come we are both working on understanding each other in our area of patience. I am hoping with more patience on my part I can reduce some unnecessary stress in our marriage and have a happy, healthier relationship. I feel that if I can shift my perspective of how I think a situation should turn out I will be able to start the process of developing more patience. A lack or difference in perspective cause anger and impatience which in turn will cause conflict. I want to better understand MD and have more empathy and sympathy towards him.
MD has come to me and has told me that his schedule at work is crazy and that he needs to better manage it. I agreed with him.. totally. I think I was actually beyond agreeing with him if that's even possible. If MDs work load and scheduled is maintained and efficient for him he is able to keep track of task and obligations which will help him with is patience. This will come through in his home life. If he is over stressed and not efficient he is not has patient. Talk about a grumbly bear. He will be rushed and not paying attention even when he is home and not working. At one point MD was waking up just 40 mins before he had to be out the door for work. Which resulted in being very rushed. We sat down and had a discussion about this and we both agreed that if he gave up a little sleep he would have an hour in the morning with the family while everyone is talking, dressing and eating breakfast and it would give him time to think about us and being the HoH. That little extra time means a lot to me also. So managing work load and making priorities is a plus for MD. It helps him with his patience.
Patience is definitely a character trait for MD and I to develop and continue. Patience is a time tested virtue. And we our sure testing it out. I believe we will see patience as a gift to each other.
Oh! did I forget to say? Prom night is coming up for our two last at home teenage kids. This might be a good chance to catch some alone time. I see a kinky evening for us this weekend. Much needed one. I haven't had a good spanking in a couple of weeks. And I could certainly could use one!